youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
