reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
