so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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