omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
