At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
