i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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