this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
