Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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