I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
