So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fuck appropriateness.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
