Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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