I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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