i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
