I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
