What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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