your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
