I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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