Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
