he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize