i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
