I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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