I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
