You smell like stripper and shame
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
