Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
