Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
