Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
