The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
