how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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