absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
