ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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