I hate all girls vehemently.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
