also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
