hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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