Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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