Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
