yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
