I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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