Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
