the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
