How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
