Nicole vs. Life
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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