Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
