Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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