Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
