Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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