I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
