i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and she was petting her beer can
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
