yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
