Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
