I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
