normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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